September 29th, 2011 I really should’ve blogged about this ages ago — I’m terribly delinquent in my Loveblogging. (Does it make it better if I tell you that it’s because most of my writing energy is going into thinking about turning my online dating advice into a book? Let’s hope yes.)
 Back in March (GOD I’m delinquent) I was interviewed by the fabulous Alicia Bessette in the Bryn Mawr Alumnae Bulletin, in a series about Mawrters who work in the Internet age. Alicia did a great job, and I just love that BMC profiled different, emerging types of professions in this strangely digital age. Like a sap, I’m totally getting the print copy framed for my Lovebug office.
Yes, an office! I’m remiss in not showing it off here — but I still have a little furniture-enhancing to do. Pics soon, I promise! For now, enjoy the Mawrticle (see what I did there?) and happy dating. ♥
April 26th, 2011 Some of you daters have probably already heard — Match.com is going to start checking its members names against a list of sex offenders, says CNN. For the record, I don’t expect this to go well. Why’s that? Because there’s no foolproofing online dating — or any kind of dating, for that matter. Dating anyone at all, ever, always carries at least a grain of inherent risk. That’s not to say we shouldn’t do it, just that we shouldn’t be naive about the realities of opening yourself up to another person.
As LiveScience attempts to clarify, this legal effort simply isn’t going to protect Match.com customers. Match never verifies a user’s real name, so users can simply give false info. Exactly like anyone else that you ever meet anywhere in the dating world ever can give false info. (Sure, a coworker is probably going to show up in the office database with their real name, but s/he may still choose to falsify other information about themselves, such as the status of their marriage or sexual orientation or IQ or jeans size, etc.)
Bottom line is, some people lie. Others don’t. The vast majority of people fudge a few things here and there, until they start to get to know the person they’re dating better — because that’s TOTALLY NORMAL. I certainly don’t condone outright lying, but plenty of people lie by omission (failing to indicate that a certain photo was from 20 years or pounds or marriages ago), and plenty of people are dishonest with themselves and others about how ready they are to date, what they’re seeking in a partner, whether those jeans make you look fat, etc. If you’re concerned about security and safety when online dating, GOOD. That paranoia instinct alone will help protect you. Use your gut. Learn to spot red flags. (If that doesn’t come easily to you, hire someone to help, read a good book, have friends check out potential dates’ correspondence or profiles, and follow basic safety tips even if they don’t make sense to you.)
This class-action lawsuit isn’t going to truly protect anyone, in my professional opinion — it’s just going to lull future online daters into a false sense of security, making them think they can slack on the carefully cultivated, common-sense-based safety tricks that *every* single person should employ. I sincerely hope no other daters stumble into bad circumstances like these poor plaintiffs, but this legal “solution” is a farce that I fear will do more harm than good.
December 15th, 2010 A couple recent security issues have cropped up — enough to remind me to beg all you online daters to stay safe and sound!
Recently, Gawker Media’s entire username and password database was compromised. So please, be prudent and switch up your passwords for all of your email accounts and online dating sites (as well as all the other big stuff!).
Secondly, my local Starbucks barista and I were joking about how the guy who had the current FourSquare mayorship of that Sbux location was probably faking it. After kidding about how we were going to track him down to find out if he actually worked in the same building with us, we made a few extremely minimal efforts to do so — and it was astounding how quickly we found out his full name, workplace, etc. It was SO EASY! (This is largely because his Facebook account was set to totally public.)
So please, daters, be safe — it’s fine to reveal a certain amount to your actual real-life friends, but we DON’T USE FACEBOOK FOR DATING. SERIOUSLY. I know it’s the most simple and easy way to just pass on a link about yourself with a summary of everything ever, but it’s just not appropriate in the beginning (and it will leave NOTHING new to talk about anyway). Be prudent! Have fun! And happy holidays. :)
August 25th, 2010 
When I recently discovered eHarmony’s new Guided Communication feature, I thought it was a total flop. After all, 90% of my advice revolves around highlighting the dater’s wit and originality, not falling back on canned multiple-choice answers!
However, it seems like this feature is surprisingly successful, especially for guys who are having trouble nudging ladies to respond. (This is the #1 complaint about paid services, and the reason behind OKCupid’s great article about why e-daters should never pay!)
Just goes to show you (and me!) that the online dating market is a tricky, unpredictable, slippery little fish. Sometimes you have to try the unexpected path, I guess — much like how I urge people to avoid conforming to the profile’s many confined fields. Here’s hoping this new feature can help hook up some couples in my circle!
February 14th, 2010 Just the other day, I was explaining to a client that Craigslist can be something of a mixed bag. For example, while you may get 300+ replies just for being female and having a pulse, frequently only 25 or so are worth really considering, and then only 10 or so worth actually writing back to. Sad, but that’s just the way it is. People tend to respond in weird and inappropriate ways, often hitting up very much the wrong category as well.
I started to warn her about some “Craigslist Crazies” who will occasionally go so far as to send little more than a picture of their genitals… and right then, in real time, she got a ridiculously rude, short and poorly-written response to her ad essentially telling her that there was no way a woman with a picture as cute as hers could a) be her age, and b) be on Craigslist. Talk about a backhanded compliment! He essentially told her to f*ck off and get on Match.com… interesting stragety.
This was *immediately* followed up by a nice-seeming guy who wrote several paragraphs about himself, asked interesting questions… and then got right to the point: he was looking for a third in an M-F-F threesome. Yeah, in response to her ad seeking, you know, a soul mate. Save a LITTLE something for the second date, buddy.
Ah, Craigslist. At least you never fail to entertain!
December 13th, 2009 Grant and I just got stopped on the street by a lovely woman named Isabel, who spotted my Card Caddie business card holder. We got started chatting about Lovebug — she was particularly fascinated and almost disbelieving that we had met on Craigslist. All in all, it was a fun little conversation, in which we both got spontaneous stranger hugs!
There are worse ways to spend a Saturday night. After having been out of the country for two weeks, and off the radar for waaaay longer, it sure was nice to get a bit of positive business interaction!
Hopefully it’ll spur me on to bigger and better things come the new year. As it is, I’m busily working on a Lovebug book, and trying to get through all the holiday travels and parties without getting too frazzled or going broke!
Happy holidays and hugs to everyone… I hope to be back to consulting more often come January!
October 5th, 2009 Man, I get a little rush of relief and joy when I see that people are still posting ads like this one and this one on Craigslist. I love being reminded that, despite the bad press and whatnot, Craiglsist continues to serve as a great source of somewhat “alternate” personal ads — and free ones at that. Keep the creativity coming, folks!
September 18th, 2009 Man, I have been MIA! Wanna know why? A: Because EVERYONE is getting married this year. Seriously, I think my fiancé and I are headed to my seventh (his eighth) wedding of the season next week. Yowza! We’ve barely had a second to do any planning of our own wedding, let alone consulting or blogging or other fun stuff!
But this story was so cute and heartwarming that it dragged me out of my blogging sabbatical. To every single client who has expressed the feeling that they are “too old” to have any success with online dating: NUH-UH!
If a pair of 83-year-olds can boldly jump into the online scene and *get married*, no less, I think it’s safe to say you’re never too old. Good hunting, daters!
July 4th, 2009  This day had to come eventually, I suppose… now my lovely $40 magnets are all gone.
Well, two out of three of them. I got one for each side of my car (so that the arrow pointing to the Card Caddie would go backwards on each side for optimal placement). They were a pretty good deal, but they still cost a pretty penny!
The very first day I applied them to my vehicle, the driver’s side one went flying off my door in the 520 wind. Oops!
 So Grant ordered me a replacement. Which just got stolen (I think last night when I was parked in Pioneer Square for my high school reunion.)So, uh, classmates/drunks/hooligans of Pioneer Square, can I pretty please have my magnet back? It does me a lot more good than you!
I mean, c’mon… the card thing in the parking lot was at least amusing. Sort of. But answer me this: what the heck are you really gonna do with a magnet advertising someone else’s company? I’d like to think you could at least make your vandalism useful, like the hacked McDonald’s sign Grant spotted today. You can do better, vandals! Show me your A game!
June 27th, 2009 …And their altruistic/mischevious guerrilla marketing. I was parked at the Southcenter Mall for a couple hours this afternoon, and when I got to my car, look what I discovered! Some kids had taken it upon themselves to remove most of the cards in my Card Caddies, and stick them under the wipers of other cars in the parking lot.
At least, I assume it was kids. That’s exactly the sort of generous yet snarky thing my friends and I would do in our bored, antsy, mildly rebellious teen years. Heh.
Continue reading Kids these days…
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