May 29th, 2009 Hey Seattle singles! I’ve joined up with some other dating-minded entrepreneurs from Biznik to help plan a singles mixer sometime this summer. Please check out our survey, even if mixers aren’t your thing — hopefully we can learn how to change that. :) I’ll keep you posted with details as they come together. Thank you!
May 22nd, 2009 In the next few weeks, a really neat movie is going to start to come together. Biznik put together a film called SHINE, which is all about how small businesses are going to be what lifts us out of this recession/depression era.
Personally, I think half the battle is approaching things in a new light — not constantly muttering how terrible things are and how bad our economy is. But there’s definitely more to it than that.
My own bit at SHINE was mostly about how I’m seeing business boom lately, despite the recession — my theory is that people are no longer willing to sit back and allow their lives to be unsatisfactory. Once they wind up laid off from their job, they’re taking the initiative to search for something more meaningful and soul-fulfilling — in this case, finding love!
I love being a part of that search, and I hope this economic crisis has provided the opportunity for some people to re-examine their priorities and move their emotional happiness up a bit on the list! I’ll post a full clip of my interview once it’s done being edited.
May 21st, 2009 Craig Newmark of Craiglist rarely goes über-public — sure, he’s been known to speak up on behalf of his company, but he (like his chosen user interface) is fairly no-frills. So I found this WSJ article kind of interesting, in light of the recent decision to close the erotic services category.
Craig states that participating in social media and reviewing sites is an act of patriotism and compassion to other consumers. I tend to agree — I’m one of the most review-happy people I know, possibly because I’m overly critical, but I like to think of it as simply having high standards.
Especially when something is very pricey or when there is a lot at stake, I’m known to be VERY vocal about it later on. Usually just a so-so experience warrants no comment, but if I have an experience that’s either extremely positive or extremely negative, you can bet I’ll be mentioning it on Google Reviews, Citysearch, Judy’s Book, Yelp… you name it.
I’m glad to see Craig encouraging consumers to get involved, especially when it comes to dating-related sites. I like to think of myself as one of the few positive reviews out there, since I don’t think many people are convinced by the models and actors in eHarmony commercials and Yahoo banner ads. Here’s hoping that we can start to balance out the often overwhelming negativity surrounding online dating!
May 12th, 2009 Social networking sites have morphed a lot over the past couple of years. Back when Friendster was all there was, I know a LOT of people who found love (and lust) on that site, as well as friends, business networking contacts, etc. etc. But now that the social networking stratosphere is significantly fuller, things get a bit more complicated.
The era of Myspace was a favorite for lots of people I know. It was so easy — if you had a unique Myspace URL, it was a great way to send a potential online date a simple link that included some photos and snippets about you, but didn’t disclose your most personal information (like your last name, place of work, etc.). While Myspace allowed for lots of disclosue, the culture wasn’t wild about putting too many details in, so it was a pretty safe and secure way to show someone a snapshot of your personality without disclosing too much sensitive stuff.
And it had another great application — as an online dating network. I know TONS of singles who used to use Myspace as a way to search for and contact other compatible singles. Now that Myspace’s heyday is over, those singles are lamenting all the changes to the online social scene — private profiles mean you can’t search for cool matches as easily, and Facebook’s dominance means it’s not a good dating platform.
Did you catch that, readers? Facebook is NOT a good dating platform! First and last names, places of work, detailed geographical and employment info, and no unique URLs means bad news for online dating. Facebook is a great tool in many ways, but this is just not an area where it shines.
So for now, stick to hand-picking which details your potential bachelor(ette)s receive, and happy (and safe) dating!
May 11th, 2009 Man, I just hate it when an ad I post for a client winds up getting flagged and removed on Craigslist. Sure, sometimes it’ll happen for some minor Terms of Service violation, and I realize that that’s valid.
But MOST of the time, when one of my creations gets flagged and removed, it’s because someone out there is bitter and unhappy. In chatting with other daters who’ve seen this phenomenon, we’ve determined that it comes from a certain sub-section of Craigslist users — those who are so unhappy with their own romantic lives (or lack thereof) that their only satisfaction comes from raining a little misery onto the dating lives of other users.
To them, I say: give me a call! We CAN help lift you out of that misery and find you a match made in heaven — perhaps someone with whom you can eat ice cream in front of the treadmill window at the gym. :)
May 7th, 2009 I just came across this article about technical incompatibilities with dating, and it definitely struck a chord. I can’t stress this enough, daters: Make your level of tech comfort clear from the beginning!
Folks who hate email or texting are likely to wind up insanely annoyed by folks who can’t get enough Twitter in one day. And daters who are big email or texting users may feel snubbed by dates who don’t get back to them quickly, even though no snub is intended. (Heck, it took me years to learn that every time I send my mom an email, I have to call her to make sure she gets it!)
When Grant and I first got together, he was big into texting and I was still lukewarm on it. But I soon adopted it, since I’m not much of a phone person after several years of working as a receptionist. And now texting is often my preferred communication method, especially with my sweetheart. (It doesn’t hurt that we now share free text messages with each other.)
I definitely have some friends who are no-text friends, no-email friends, or no-voicemail friends. I don’t much mind adhering to these quirks, and I do think it’s important to be SOMEWHAT flexible — but this is bound to become a bigger issue with a significant other than with a casual friend. Communicating with your sweetie shouldn’t be a chore! The fact that Mr. Right doesn’t respond to your Facebook status updates may well be a deal breaker for some, and a breath of fresh air for others — so keep hunting until you find someone who meshes well with your style!
April 25th, 2009 Whee, I’ve finally managed to make the time to get the blog working right for this site! It’s not much yet, but at some point I will likely start porting content over from my Seattle P-I Reader Blog, so keep an eye out for that in the coming weeks.
The main thing I’m excited to bring over is a couple of book reviews I did. The market for GOOD online dating books is pretty slim, and of course many of you know I’m already working on my own. But there are one or two really fun reads already out there that can help people get more comfortable with the idea.
And boy, do some folks need easing in! Of course, online dating is rapidly gaining caché as an acceptable way of meeting your match, so I run into this problem a lot less frequently than I used to. But MAN, have I crossed paths with a lot of people lately who have wildly inaccurate negative ideas about e-dating. I can’t wait to get my official word out there in print and help make a dent in that undeserved stereotype!
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